51 Euphemisms for Youre Fired

A euphemism is a seemingly nice or polite way of expressing a harsh or unpleasant truth.  In the  Oxford Dictionary of Euphemisms  (2007), R.W. Holder observes that euphemism is often the language of evasion, hypocrisy, prudery, and deceit. To test that observation, consider these 51 alternative ways of saying Youre fired.   Dan Foreman:  Guys, I feel very terrible about what Im about to say. But Im afraid youre both being let go.Lou:  Let go? What does that mean?Dan Foreman:  It means youre being fired, Louie.(Dennis Quaid and Kevin Chapman in the movie  In Good Company, 2004) Throughout much of the world, unemployment remains a problem. Yet of all those people who have lost their jobs, few were ever told, Youre fired. Apparently, those day-long seminars in workplace sensitivity have paid off: firing is now as outdated as a defined-benefit pension plan. In its place is a brightly colored file folder filled with smiley-faced  euphemisms. True, a few of the terms sound rather dour and legalistic (involuntary separation, for example, and workforce imbalance correction). A few others are simply perplexing (decruit, lateralize, waive). But many sound as cheery as a year-end bonus: constructive discharge, career alternative enhancement, and—no kidding—free up for the future. Youre not losing a job, these expressions seem to be saying. Youre regaining a life. Euphemisms for Job Termination Here, according to management guides and personnel documents found at a host of online human resources sites, are 51 bona fide euphemisms for job termination. career alternative enhancementcareer change opportunitycareer transitionconstructive dischargeconstructive dismissaldecline a contract extensiondecruitdefunddehirede-selectdestaffdischargediscontinuedownscaledownsizeearly retirement opportunityemployee transitionend of a trial periodexcessingfree up for the futureindefinite idlinginvoluntary separationlateralizelet gomake internal efficienciesmake redundantmanage downnegotiate a departureoutplaceoutsourcepersonnel realignmentpersonnel surplus reductionrationalize the workforcereduce headcountreduce in force (or  riffing)re-engineer the staffreleaserelieve of dutiesreorganize (or  re-org)reshufflerestructureretrenchrightsizeselect outseparateskill-mix adjustmentstreamlinesurplusunassignwaiveworkforce imbalance correction Forget those condescending reminders that youre now free to pursue other interests and spend more time with the family. As anyone who has ever lost a job is keenly aware, euphemisms such as these rarely achieve their goal of softening the blow. The terms that  we  use for getting fired tend to be  dysphemisms: sacked, dumped, bounced out, canned, axed, eighty-sixed, and given the old heave-ho. More About Euphemisms and Dysphemisms Why Do We Use Euphemisms?Euphemisms, Dysphemisms, and Distinctio: Soggy Sweats Whiskey SpeechSoft Language